This may not be the best thing I've ever written. In fact, it's definitely not the best thing I've ever written. But if you want a lot of links to kickass John Carpenter music—and one link to this ewok song that is actually the worst song I've ever heard—then today's Bullett post is for you.
I should hardly have been surprised to find that in 1982, Italian disco magnate Mario Boncaldo—who also gave us the Ewok Celebration 12″—worked his magic on some of the best tracks from the Escape From New York soundtrack. It’s, uh, much better than the Ewok song. In fact, I’ve been listening to the Ewok song while writing this, and it might be the worst thing I’ve ever heard. It might be melting my brain. Ah, yes, at 4:10 there’s an Ewok rap, so consider my brain melted and accept my apologies if the rest of this post is more gibberishy than usual.
(Mr. Mario’s website, by the way, is a terrifying delight. His slogan is “the House Music before the House Music.” I want that on a t-shirt now, please.)
The next year, he did the same thing with Assault on Precinct 13. The Halloween soundtracks, we can assume, were too good on their own to fool with. The songs are driving, repetitive, spooky, brutal—everything we love about John Carpenter music, but three times as long.
That wonderful repetition got me thinking about one of my favorite traits of John Carpenter movies: indifference in the face of danger. It’s a normal thing in horror pictures for the audience to realize the danger well before the characters do, but Carpenter takes it to extremes.
Shit. I gave away the ewok link. Still, hay mucho más.
Of course, as badass synth soundtracks go, nothing Carpenter ever did could touch the opening theme for The Long Good Friday. Did anyone ever make a disco remix of that? Because I would love for it to be eight minutes long.