I Am A Playwright

A resident playwright, in fact, who is proud to reside with the wonderful people of Squeaky Bicycle Productions. As such, I have written many plays. Several are unreadably bad. Many are fine. And a select few are outrageously fantastic. Those are detailed below.

I strongly recommend reading them, sharing them, and producing them. If you would like to do any or all of the above, do drop me a line, or click the titles to download the plays in PDF. 

DEAD MAN'S DINNER, an intense comedy about love and hunger in a city under siege. Three women are trapped in an apartment on the blighted Upper West Side, and the food is nearly out. When the last can of Oink-Em Oink-Em Ham Product is empty, who will be the first to die? Find out in 2017, when Squeaky Bicycle mounts a full production at Theater For The New City.

TALES OF LOVE AND LASERS, a science fiction fantasia composed of three one act plays: the award-winning adventure romp Stella Starlight: Queen of Space, the deep space romance R. For Roxy, and Hyperion Calling, a ten minute story of tragedy on the moon. Produced by Squeaky Bicycle in 2014, it is available for production in whole or in part.

POP DIES IN VEGAS, a so-called "teenybopper murder-farce," about a preening young pop idol who's greeted on his 18th birthday with the sickening realization that his fame has peaked. Rather than fade out shamefully, he does the natural thing: faking his death in order to remain famous forever. (Produced in 2012 by Squeaky Bicycle.)

GIMME AN L!, the best ten minute I've ever written: a just-twisted-enough love scene between a man with a fetish for bad sex, and a woman with a larynx-wrenching perversion of her own. Developed at the Brooklyn Generator, and produced in 2016 as part of Squeaky Bicycle's Unconventional Convention.

THE MOST DANGEROUS CAT IN THE WORLD, the other best ten minute I've ever written: a raucous comedy about a young woman torn between begrudging love for her mad scientist father and the twisted feline that used to be her boyfriend. Based on the last ten minutes of every bad monster movie I've ever seen, it's funny as hell. Developed as part of UglyRhino's marvelous TinyRhino festival.

CARY'S CHAIN STORE MASSACRE, the first good play I ever wrote, which remains one of my favorites. To strike a blow in the name of the independent bookstore, three hapless bookworms devise a harebrained plot to blow up the big Barnes & Noble on Union Square. It would be easier if they weren't all insane.

(Produced in 2011 by Sanguine Theatre Company; read in 2011 at the Great Plains Theater Conference.)